2 littles

Sometimes I wake up in the morning and I"m shocked when I remember, "oh yeah, I've got 2 kids."  The transition has been interesting, to say the least. Sometimes I feel like it takes every minute of every day of my 100% constant attention just to survive. Somebody always needs me, and frequently they both need me.

Then, there will be a day when the stars align and they both end up napping at the same time and I have an hour or so to do something normal. To take a nap. To make something for dinner that is more than just paninis or omelets (our 2 go-to meals). To clean the kitchen or do a load of laundry. To sit down and blog. Then I remember, this is how it used to be. Back when Ryder's 2-3 hour nap time was my free time and I used to be semi-productive during the day. I will get there again, but today is not that day and probably not tomorrow either. Because now I have 2 littles who depend on me for everything and that is just fine. That is where I am right now.

Its been all about redefining what "productive" means. If we can all get ready for the day and do one thing, that's a good day. Anything else on top of that is just frosting.

There have been a few things that have helped me keep my sanity... things I don't know what I would do without.

• Chad is such a good, hands-on daddy. When he comes home from work, he is all about jumping right into the chaos and even sending me out the door for some alone time. That man is a keeper.
• Almost every day, we take the double BOB out on a run/walk. I like to say we're "rocking" it. We hit up the park and/or go around the lake. It's a necessary part of both mine and Ryder's day.
•  Listening to conference talks and/or scriptures on my phone. Love that LDS app. I made a goal to listen to at least 1 talk a day and even when I'm only half listening because I'm trying to avoid some sort of catastrophe or attend to a little's need, I still feel better and at peace afterwards.

One happy surprise has been how much Ryder man loves his "baby brother" (still will not call him Drew). He wants to love and take care of this baby brother the best way his 2-year-old little self can. Often times despite his good intentions, he can love a little too much, but I can't really ever be mad at him. How can you be upset with a 2-year-old who wants to give his brother too big a hug? Or kiss the top of his head ("kiss his hair!") too many times? Or who accidentally rolls over his hand when he insists that baby brother lay next to him in his crib while we're saying prayers? You just can't.

So, I'm figuring it out. It's a change, and as I'm starting to go back to work, there's more to come. But, we're making it and every day, things get a little more routine, a little better. Motherhood is quite the journey.